Let’s TALK ABOUT the 4 monthly phases
Ooh, you are busy. But honestly, your hormones are, too. Month in and month out, they’re rehearsing their lines, rebuilding the set, dimming the lights… It’s a nonstop production in there.
No matter what phase you’re at in life, there your hormones are. Sometimes they’re high, sometimes they’re low. Sometimes they’re pesky little monsters, but in our humble opinion, they deserve a little stage time *every* day of the year, because (call us corny) they’re YOU.
So estrogen, progesterone, and their bb bosom buddies are tap-dancing their way through your body right now. And just like you, they thrive when they’ve got a little routine. Tap routine, jazz routine… snack routine?! Yes, hello.
We made a thing called Monthlies, and it’s kind of like your personal cycle assistant. It’s arriving right on time with calendar, clipboard, and ALL THE SNACKS in hand. DIY your own monthly Phasey subscription, or choose from a set of nutritionist-built bundles built for all kinds of repro adventures. Monthlies keeps track for you, so you can get back to being busy while your hormones get on with the show.
$69.00 / month
You know that feeling when you’re curled up with your hot water bottle howling in pain watching Titanic for the millionth time wishing you could take a nap for a just a few short days and your boobs hurt and your forehead’s a wreck and you quietly wonder if your period will ever end? Us too! We’re sending CBD chocolate to the rescue (a whole week’s worth) plus your two tablespoons a day of phytoestrogens, via seeds, to KO those pesky prostaglandins all month long.
$73.00 / month
Mood swings are the g-dang worst. They’re a topsy-turvy scramble of swoons and swears. One minute you’re shining brighter than the sun itself, the next minute you’re hiding under a pillowfort and cringing when your phone buzzes. Once again, you can thank estrogen and progesterone, who here don their best evil twin impression and deep-dive just before your period starts. No worries, though. We’re taking them on with this mood-balancing menu: the Neat-O! chocolate moodmilk of dreams (best when sipped daily), a couple of Period Chocolates obv, and both of our best-selling seed cycle blends, because we’re shipping a body-brain connection that gets you out from under the pillows for good.
$59.00 / month
It’s your first period!!! Cue the confetti. (Or not, that’s fine, too.) Periods are weird, and every single thing you’re feeling right now is valid, it’s “normal”, it’s yours. Menarche rhymes with malarkey, but we’re here to help you get off on the right foot. Choose between our Neat-O! chocolate or strawberry moodmilk (creamy and dreamy and with 15g of protein per serving, beats the boring protein powders) and take a try at seed cycling — 2 tbsp a day to keep the crabby away. Welcome to the club 🙂
$68.00 / month
Maybe you’re just gearing up for the game. Maybe you’ve been TTC for eons. Regardless of your sitch, good nutrition is key to setting your body up for the actual superhero feat that is babymaking. We’ve bundled together a set of essentials to make sure your body’s piqued and primed for those precious ovulation days: a Seed Cycle Blend duo to help support estrogen levels leading up to the Ovulatory Phase, a daily dose of protein cleverly disguised in Neat-O! strawberry moodmilk, and a Sex Chocolate to help seal the deal.
$45.00 / month
Sex and stress go together like orange juice and toothpaste, like turtlenecks and turtles, like religion and government. (Oops, did we say that?!) Stress can pull you out of the moment, or even make it impossible to get there in the first place. And if you’re having less sex than your usual these days, we feel you. Losing your lust when the going gets tough is a legitimate thing, and we, too, have been Netflix-and-napping our way all thru quarantine. Well, until we tried Sex Chocolate, our ode to the magic of shatavari. We’re pairing it with a daily regimen of — once again — seeds, whose signature healthy fats make for, well… better circulation.
$70.00 / month
Growing a person is hard work, and as a birthing parent, no doubt you’re already tapping into all kinds of supernatural strength. We’re channeling the can-do of Marge Gunderson with the realism of Miranda Hobbes, the energy of Blue Ivy-era Beyoncé, and the candor of Ali Wong… but pretty sure you and your body know best. We think it’s important to let it do its pregnancy thing (with the guidance of your trusted health care provider, of course). But we created our latest product with you in mind — in chocolate *and* in strawberry — so your hormones can get a little extra support during a time when they’ve got quite the lift. One daily dose of our Neat-O! omega-rich moodmilk, made with hemp heart protein, contains all nine essential amino acids and is high in fiber, omega 3s, zinc, iron, and magnesium. It’s a boost for you and for babe, and we’re down for anything that makes you feel as strong as you know you are.
From: $42.00 / month
Um, you just had a baby. That’s AMAZING! Now what? Probably a whole lot of things, because you’re exhausted, you’re restless, and you’ve likely spent a whole lot of time focusing on a special tiny someone lately — but what about you?! Dream with us for a minute: a hot shower, a looong nap, and a glass of strawberry milk enjoyed all alone in your kitchen, flipping through magazines while your mini soundly sleeps on. Okay, hear us out on the strawberry milk: our Neat-O! instant moodmilk is rich with essential omega 3s and omega 6s that are scientifically proven to smooth out mood swings and help your body heal. It’s purposely easy to make (just add milk and stir) so that you may actually have the time to take that snooze after all. For the overachievers, we tossed in a single, lust-inducing chocolate so you can take a bit more time for yourself — when you’re ready, of course. Shatavari, its active ingredient, is also a galactagogue, so for the nursers out there, you can boost milk production while getting your libido back. We’re looking out for you!
$56.00 / month
The times, they are a-changing. You (and your estrogen levels) too. There’s a chance you’re managing menopause with total ease and a full-on sex drive and a seriously chipper mood, with zero hot flashes and a cool ten hours of sleep every night. (If that’s you, pls reach out because we want to take notes.) But in reality, the facts say that 85% of menopausées experience symptoms, and we want to help. Our solution: chocolate. Specifically, Sex Chocolate (yes) and chocolate moodmilk. We can explain. Sex Chocolate is a raw chocolate truffle made with organic shatavari, an Ayurvedic herb with a legit history of getting the juices flowing, and our Neat-O! chocolate moodmilk mix is built on 15g of hemp heart protein, known for its mood-balancing skills when used in your daily routine. Menopause has gotten a bad rap since… well, forever, but trust us on this one — we’ve got your back (and your hormones, for sure).
DIY your own Monthly